Sometimes we just need space. Space to think; space to be; space to re-focus our lives back on God. SPACE. I was given space this weekend, at an event for young Methodists, deemed by their churches to have "leadership potential". Most of us went simply because our churches had recommended us for it, not really with any idea of what it would be; but I think we all came away from it refreshed and emboldened to go forward and move mountains for God! We had times of worship surrounded by cushions, prayer spaces, art materials - surrounded by space to personally and fully respond to God. We had workshops and discussions among new friends with open hearts and no fear of being knocked down - space to realised and share what was on our hearts. We had shared meal-times and games in community - space to live and to be. As the weekend started we reflected on Jesus' call to everyone to "Come to Me," drawing on the image of the disciples in the boat at night when Jesus, walking on water, comes out to them. And Peter questions him, "If it is you, call me out too." And in reply to Peter's demanding, un-thought-through question, Jesus gave a one-word response: "COME." And then we looked at how he calls to us further; "Follow Me." We were reminded of the people Jesus called. That they weren't perfect. That we don't need to have "all our ducks in a row" before we can follow God! Following Jesus is an adventure, one where ordinary people follow and their worlds turn upside-down, so that through Jesus, they may turn the world upside-down! In the middle of the weekend we took time out as a 'Discernment Time.' Time to actually listen to God. To think of how God speaks through our hopes and dreams; how God equips with our gifts and qualities and how God speaks, again, through other people. How often do we really stop to listen to God. Not often enough. ... (I'll just leave that with you!) After this we looked at a session on Jesus saying to us, "Wait for Me." And we spent time waiting. People used the art materials, or laid down on the beanbags and cushions; people prayed and sought after God earnestly and desperately. And God met us there, in our waiting. I learnt that waiting is not passive, but an active endeavour; one through which we grow and learn and meet and become completed - become whole - find our peace. And finally, we moved on to Jesus' call to "Go for Me," anointed and courageous: with God right in front of us, leading us; right beside us, experiencing with us; and right behind us, ready to catch us if we fall. I want to share how all of this spoke to me:
I have just begun a year-long process of discernment called 'Candidating,' in order to work out if God is calling me to ordained ministry in the Methodist Church at this time. And since this journey began (a few years ago!) I've been fluctuating between absolute certainty that this is what God is calling me to do right now, and absolute fear and doubt that I could ever do it. So maybe I was wrong...? And I was in one of those moments going into this weekend. The day before, I'd missed an important meeting, for which other people had travelled quite far to be at and re-arranged their schedules to make happen, some of whom I'd never met; and I felt absolutely terrible. My organisational skills were clearly not good enough. Maybe I just wasn't grown up enough yet. Maybe I'd been impatient - maybe I should wait until I'm older. How can anyone take me seriously if I sleep through a 10am meeting!!! But God spoke to me this weekend. He knows I'm not perfect. And he knows I'm not going to get everything right. And yet he calls me still. It doesn't make it any less bad that I missed the meeting, but there is forgiveness when we get it wrong, and a hand to pull us up when we stumble and doubt as we approach God, walking on the water he has called us to walk on. And actually, I learnt that when we talk about hearing God's voice, for all us of, most of the time, that is not 100% certain. We all go through doubts, and it is often only in hindsight that we can look back and see where God was and what he did. I don't need to be afraid of falling into the water, because God will be there to catch me when I do.
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AuthorI'm a recent Cambridge Theology graduate now studying for a Masters in Biblical Studies and blogging about all sorts of things! I'm interested in faith, Church, theology, social action, the great outdoors and being creative, and all of those things - along with many more - come through in my posts!
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