This phrase has kept cropping up for me this week - in various different settings and with various different people. And I think it is something I have been experiencing and learning too. At the beginning of this week, I finally decided to email my Director of Studies (who organises my academic stuff here at Uni) to tell him that, though I had emailed my supervisor twice, I hadn't managed to gain a reply about starting supervisions for this term. Within a couple of days he found the same thing and got in touch with a few other people to find someone else who would be more than capable to supervise me for this paper. The new supervisor has now been in touch and we are ready to begin the work. Simultaneously, I had a supervision at the beginning of this week on the module I am writing 2 coursework essays for. I had worked a lot over the Christmas vacation and in these first 2 weeks of term to get the first draft of this done. The supervision lasted all of 16 minutes, because after telling me I just needed to start again, there wasn't really much more my supervisor could say! In that moment, this was definitely one of those times when you just feel disappointed with yourself and like a fool. I felt like pretty much the only work I had really achieved anything on this whole term, up to that point, had been a waste. All my precious time, just gone. Now that's not entirely true - I have also been doing other work this term, and have been learning things even if not producing essays on them. But in the moment, you never remember those things - just the feeling of lack, of waste and of failure. But now, I have gained perspective! If I'd have emailed my Director of Studies in Week 1, after getting no reply, he might have been able to contact that supervisor and we could have started earlier - or at least found that I needed a different supervisor earlier. And if I'd have asked for a preliminary supervision before the Christmas vacation, my coursework supervisor would have definitely given me one, and we could have discussed what direction my essay would take and I would have known what path I needed to follow, rather than grasping the wrong end of the stick firmly in my hands and hitting my laptop with it until enough words came out! I have also been looking at things I want to be doing next year, after finishing here. And I look at all the things required, and I think "How?!" 'I can't do all that! God, I don't know how to do what I think you want me to...' And I feel God saying back, "No. But that's why I've put people who do know around you." People with more experience than me; people with contacts and knowledge and wisdom. Through the not particularly nice experiences of earlier this week - God has reminded me that I am not alone. And I follow him with both his strength and the strength of those he has placed around me. NOTHING is wasted. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" ~ Romans 8.28
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Like the Facebook page to keep up-to-date with blog posts!
AuthorI'm a recent Cambridge Theology graduate now studying for a Masters in Biblical Studies and blogging about all sorts of things! I'm interested in faith, Church, theology, social action, the great outdoors and being creative, and all of those things - along with many more - come through in my posts!
Categories
All
Archives
April 2020
|