...but a Place Between Places, a Place of its OwnWe started our Lent course at our Thursday evening Bible study/fellowship/discussion group: Table Talk, this week, and we're looking at the idea of pilgrimage (with the Churches Together in Britain & Ireland 2016 Lent course). The first of these sessions is entitled The Open Road.
It begins by addressing the fact that the road - the journey, the pilgrimage - is a place in and of itself. I think we often view the road as purely instrumental; it is a means to get to the next destination or the path we simply have to follow in order to reach the next stage in our lives. And for me, I find I get quite impatient with the road; I set my heart on the next destination and I just want to be there already! Being in my 3rd and final year of my degree, I think I'm feeling this a lot more at the moment as well - everyone is starting to think about what happens after Uni and I'm trying to work out what it is my future might hold. So much so that this whole year becomes merely instrumental - it's just a stepping stone which I have to jump over in order to make it to the other side. And I really struggle with that, because I hate doing things when I can't see why I'm doing them. I just don't see the point! But one of the other students in our group talked about when she used to go on family walks, and the whole point of them was the journey, though in her younger years she could never understand why anybody would want to go on a circular journey!!! And I remember, even now when we go on a walk, take the dogs out around the country park and back or something - there is no destination, only a journey. And there is so much to experience and see and know and do on that road; so much stillness and peace, and excitement and adventure, and being and belonging. What if I can bring that into my current journey? What if I can seek out that stillness and that peace; not constantly searching for the next stepping stone or the next deadline, but resting at the feet of God and giving myself time to work out where I am and what is around me. What if I can discover the excitement and the adventure of living life TO THE FULL; not being run down by the humdrum and mundane tasks I need to complete on a daily basis, but knowing that God has a plan for me in the 'NOW' - one which is full of joy and power and love. And what if I can find my own being and belonging; not feeling lost or distracted or stressed, or as if I can barely keep up with the world speeding past beside me - for I am the one speeding past and if I could just be still, perhaps then I would no longer be afraid to find who I am and where I belong; in the still, strong arms of God. Week 1: The Open Road - © CTBI 2016 And if you are in Cambridge, come and join us for the remainder of our Lent Course at Table Talk!
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This phrase has kept cropping up for me this week - in various different settings and with various different people. And I think it is something I have been experiencing and learning too. At the beginning of this week, I finally decided to email my Director of Studies (who organises my academic stuff here at Uni) to tell him that, though I had emailed my supervisor twice, I hadn't managed to gain a reply about starting supervisions for this term. Within a couple of days he found the same thing and got in touch with a few other people to find someone else who would be more than capable to supervise me for this paper. The new supervisor has now been in touch and we are ready to begin the work. Simultaneously, I had a supervision at the beginning of this week on the module I am writing 2 coursework essays for. I had worked a lot over the Christmas vacation and in these first 2 weeks of term to get the first draft of this done. The supervision lasted all of 16 minutes, because after telling me I just needed to start again, there wasn't really much more my supervisor could say! In that moment, this was definitely one of those times when you just feel disappointed with yourself and like a fool. I felt like pretty much the only work I had really achieved anything on this whole term, up to that point, had been a waste. All my precious time, just gone. Now that's not entirely true - I have also been doing other work this term, and have been learning things even if not producing essays on them. But in the moment, you never remember those things - just the feeling of lack, of waste and of failure. But now, I have gained perspective! If I'd have emailed my Director of Studies in Week 1, after getting no reply, he might have been able to contact that supervisor and we could have started earlier - or at least found that I needed a different supervisor earlier. And if I'd have asked for a preliminary supervision before the Christmas vacation, my coursework supervisor would have definitely given me one, and we could have discussed what direction my essay would take and I would have known what path I needed to follow, rather than grasping the wrong end of the stick firmly in my hands and hitting my laptop with it until enough words came out! I have also been looking at things I want to be doing next year, after finishing here. And I look at all the things required, and I think "How?!" 'I can't do all that! God, I don't know how to do what I think you want me to...' And I feel God saying back, "No. But that's why I've put people who do know around you." People with more experience than me; people with contacts and knowledge and wisdom. Through the not particularly nice experiences of earlier this week - God has reminded me that I am not alone. And I follow him with both his strength and the strength of those he has placed around me. NOTHING is wasted. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" ~ Romans 8.28 |
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AuthorI'm a recent Cambridge Theology graduate now studying for a Masters in Biblical Studies and blogging about all sorts of things! I'm interested in faith, Church, theology, social action, the great outdoors and being creative, and all of those things - along with many more - come through in my posts!
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