I've been following All We Can's Lent booklet, All Together for Justice which takes inspiration from words attributed to John Wesley: "Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can." Nearing the end, the booklet has reached a focus on that last phrase: As long as ever you can. And one line in particular jumps out at me from today's page: "Our life, for as long as we have it, is at its most fulfilled when it is full of love." Our life. For as long as we have it. Is at its most fulfilled, when it is full of love. "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us" (Ephesians 5.1-2a). I often find myself wondering about the future. About how I'm going to follow God; how I'm going to live my life fully for him, as it says above, doing all the good I can, in all the places I can, in all the ways I can, so on. How I'm going to live a meaningful life, or make a difference, or achieve something that when I'm old I can look back on and, I guess, be proud of. But that's not where my fulfillment will come from; there will always be more I could've achieved, a bigger and better name I could've been in a bigger and wider circle. Christ asks his followers to love as he loved; to walk in love. And when I look back on the experiences I've been able to have, it is those times when I have managed to love other people, when I felt most alive.
Earlier this week I received acceptance to start pre-ordination training for the Methodist Church this coming September! For the last couple of weeks (with the final interview and then a week of waiting for the response!), as it all became more concrete, and as the interview panel at the final interview focused, rightly, on all the aspects that still scared me about becoming a minister, I grew terrified that they'd say yes! I started wondering about what it would be like, whether I could even do it - I still feel so small and so young and so not ready! - whether I could still follow God while doing it or whether it would wear me down and tire me out and take away my freedom to adventure with God wherever! Whether it would be the very best way that I could live out my life fulfilled in God. But I'd forgotten the bigger picture. I know that wherever I am, whatever role I'm playing, whatever job I have or that needs doing, I am called to love; to walk in love. And in doing that, I find the life that springs forth from Jesus Christ. I am the woman at the well, and Jesus offers me his water to drink; Living Water, so I shall never thirst again. Abundant life. To love and to follow is my future; everything else just happens around that. "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2 Corinthians 3.17) I am made free in giving my life to serve the Lord; I do not worry about how I will do it, but concern myself to love however and whoever and wherever I can; it is God who will fill my life.
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...but a Place Between Places, a Place of its OwnWe started our Lent course at our Thursday evening Bible study/fellowship/discussion group: Table Talk, this week, and we're looking at the idea of pilgrimage (with the Churches Together in Britain & Ireland 2016 Lent course). The first of these sessions is entitled The Open Road.
It begins by addressing the fact that the road - the journey, the pilgrimage - is a place in and of itself. I think we often view the road as purely instrumental; it is a means to get to the next destination or the path we simply have to follow in order to reach the next stage in our lives. And for me, I find I get quite impatient with the road; I set my heart on the next destination and I just want to be there already! Being in my 3rd and final year of my degree, I think I'm feeling this a lot more at the moment as well - everyone is starting to think about what happens after Uni and I'm trying to work out what it is my future might hold. So much so that this whole year becomes merely instrumental - it's just a stepping stone which I have to jump over in order to make it to the other side. And I really struggle with that, because I hate doing things when I can't see why I'm doing them. I just don't see the point! But one of the other students in our group talked about when she used to go on family walks, and the whole point of them was the journey, though in her younger years she could never understand why anybody would want to go on a circular journey!!! And I remember, even now when we go on a walk, take the dogs out around the country park and back or something - there is no destination, only a journey. And there is so much to experience and see and know and do on that road; so much stillness and peace, and excitement and adventure, and being and belonging. What if I can bring that into my current journey? What if I can seek out that stillness and that peace; not constantly searching for the next stepping stone or the next deadline, but resting at the feet of God and giving myself time to work out where I am and what is around me. What if I can discover the excitement and the adventure of living life TO THE FULL; not being run down by the humdrum and mundane tasks I need to complete on a daily basis, but knowing that God has a plan for me in the 'NOW' - one which is full of joy and power and love. And what if I can find my own being and belonging; not feeling lost or distracted or stressed, or as if I can barely keep up with the world speeding past beside me - for I am the one speeding past and if I could just be still, perhaps then I would no longer be afraid to find who I am and where I belong; in the still, strong arms of God. Week 1: The Open Road - © CTBI 2016 And if you are in Cambridge, come and join us for the remainder of our Lent Course at Table Talk! |
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AuthorI'm a recent Cambridge Theology graduate now studying for a Masters in Biblical Studies and blogging about all sorts of things! I'm interested in faith, Church, theology, social action, the great outdoors and being creative, and all of those things - along with many more - come through in my posts!
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